Happy Valentine's Day, everybody! While Bioware is known for its deep and varied love stories in its game, there are many Bioware characters, sadly, who were never able to win the hearts of our characters. So, let's take a moment to reflect on some characters we would have loved to be able to romance.
From: Baldur's Gate 1&2
The strong-willed ranger with a heart of gold, Minsc came to the Sword Coast along with his charge, Dynaheir, in a right of passage.
Why We Want to Romance Him: Minsc's devotion towards protecting his witch and the strong connection he feels with Boo, show that he is long-term material. Dedicated to those close to him, Minsc will protect you with his strong arms and will charge headlong into any evil that may threaten you. Also, that hamster? Total babe magnet.
Why It Wouldn't Work Out: As happens with rangers, Minsc's relationship with Boo would get in the way of yours. It's gotta hurt feeling like second fiddle to a hamster, even if he is from space.
From: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Wise and capable beyond her years, Mission joins your team with her undying optimism and knack for surviving in the slums.
Why We Want to Romance Her: She's a total woobie! Orphaned, abandoned by her jerk of a brother, and forced to scrape together an existence on a Sith-controlled planet with a system of space-apartheid, she still approaches everything with unmatched pluckiness and dedication to her friends. Also, she's a Twi'lek - one of the original Space Babe species.
Why It Wouldn't Work Out: During the events of KOTOR, Mission is 14 years old. So, barring any differences in Twi'lek development or possible age of consent laws in Republic Space, this pushes the boundaries of creepy pretty heavily. Also, an adoptive older brother who can rip your arms out for going too fast would be quite the deterrent.
From: Mass Effect 1&2
The best damn Alliance pilot there is, Joker is the smart-mouthed and brittle helmsman of the Normandy.
Why We Want To Romance Him: Joker's been with you through thick and thin, though he makes sure you know that. A man with steady hands and a sense of humor, that's what girls want, right?
Why It Wouldn't Work Out: Unfortunately, his brittle bones wouldn't last much romancing, though FemShep doesn't seem to have too many issues with the unavoidable death of a loved one. Also, he's already got something going on with EDI, which is... unsettling....
From: Dragon Age Origins: Awakening
The last surviving member of her Legion Of Dead squad, Sigrun joins your party in hopes of finding more Darkspawn to kill, or die fighting.
Why We Want to Romance Her: Awakening has quite a few characters with potential, though The Warden is oddly in pure business mode during this adventure. What sets Sigrun apart is her indomitable perkiness. Though resigned to her fate as a Legionnaire, Sigrun doesn't let that stop her from appreciating life's little moments, from shiny trinkets to Justice's twitching.
Why It Wouldn't Work Out: Sigrun's morbid sense of humor would be a mood-killer. Every intimate moment would be ruined by her determination to return to the Deep Roads to kill more Darkspawn. And because she's officially dead already, as a card carrying member of the Legion of the Dead.
Why We Want to Romance Her: Aside from her fierce displays of combat and versatility on the battlefield, Shale brings a dry wit and loyalty to its side, not out of compulsion, mind it, but out of appreciation for helping find her origins. Not to mention, she looks absolutely stunning with the right crystals.
Why It Wouldn't Work Out: With a contempt for... ugh... fleshy things, Shale wouldn't be much fun in the tent, and would likely crush its puny frame in any event. Even so, a walk in the park would be soiled by her murderous rampage against any pigeons that happen to walk by.